Sections in this article:
- The $725.32 Free Bread
- What’s the Point of the Article?
- What Celebrities Don’t Want You to Know
- Almost but Not Actually the Best Free Restaurant Bread in America
- What Is the “Best”?
- The Bread That Flies Through the Air
- The Bread of the Appalachian Dancing Bear
- The Restaurant in America That I Hate, That I Will Never Go Back to, That Has Made of Me an Enemy for Life Due to Its Psychotic Soda Policy
- The Chain-Restaurant Popularity Paradox
- The Best Free Restaurant Bread in America
Warning: super long read. But a very interesting genealogy of free bread! I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Also, why I hate Olive Garden:
Horner’s demonic calculation for how many slices or rolls each table’s basket should contain is [Number of diners] + 1. Unevenly divisible bread creates “a tension that I really enjoy.”
Like, superfluous shit like this is a great luxury to read, in a society where very little is really wrong. But we’re not there, and we’ve not been there. So it’s just another form of madness.
edit: and a proper shitpost, I mean.
Ok this is honestly an amazing read. I’ve had too much circus in my life, not enough bread apparently.
Maybe I was just hungry at the time, but I was so amazed at the complimentary bread on my first visit at a Cheesecake Factory. I haven’t gone since but I’m curious to know if my opinion stands if I ever go back.
Some people really like it, but not that many. Per the article:
Dividing votes (40) by location (215) gives the Cheesecake Factory—the restaurant that received the most total votes—a bestness rate of 0.19, or the equivalent of 19 votes per 100 restaurants. Lambert’s Cafe earns a bestness rate of 2.66—the equivalent of 266 votes per 100 restaurants. While imperfect, this method at least does not penalize restaurants for failing to be national chains—though, for the purposes of the poll, I accept all nominations at face value.