Sections in this article:

• The $725.32 Free Bread
• What’s the Point of the Article?
• What Celebrities Don’t Want You to Know
• Almost but Not Actually the Best Free Restaurant Bread in America
• What Is the “Best”?
• The Bread That Flies Through the Air
• The Bread of the Appalachian Dancing Bear
• The Restaurant in America That I Hate, That I Will Never Go Back to, That Has Made of Me an Enemy for Life Due to Its Psychotic Soda Policy
• The Chain-Restaurant Popularity Paradox
• The Best Free Restaurant Bread in America