What I don’t get is, why is everyone struggling to make friends as an adult? There’s a loneliness epidemic. People are more isolated than ever and they’re feeling it and say they want to make friends. People online constantly say it is difficult to make friends. Yet when I meet people IRL, no one wants to make friends at all and the struggle is real. IRL no one responds to messages, no one comes to meet ups, no one accepts invitations. It seems the masses out there are not trying to make friends and are actively turning down opportunities…to then go home and be miserable and complain and be lonely. Is there an app or something? Tinder for friends? OnlyFriends.com could be the next thing in this tech dystopia…pay a monthly subscription to have another guy send buddy texts and memes. Relationships and parasocial relationships are comodified. Might as well do the same with friendship since people aren’t giving this shit away for free anymore.
I think a lot of people never knew how to make friends, not just as adults.
For some their entire social group is made of those that life forced them to meet - i.e classmates from their school days, childhood neighbors, and friends of those friends.
Tech companies made sure to divert social needs to parasocial relationships through a screen. People can watch a stream or stalk fake girls on social media and trick their brains into believing they have covered their social needs without having to put any energy on it.
Now some people are starting to chat with AI as they were real people and it’s only to get worse.
When your needs are met, making friends is less difficult. When your life is focused on getting your needs get, making friends is often put on the back burner.
That’s trivial question: to become friends you must first talk to someone. More than once. To talk with someone more than once you must have some mutual interests or background limiting circumstances. It is easy to find friends in school, work, army, etc. In places with plenty of people who all are in the same situation and thus have some common (important!) themes and opinions to discuss with you. When you’re out of such places, you don’t have a chance of repeating talk with somebody. That’s it.
This is why I tell everyone they should join a choir or a dance class or whatever you fancy. The entry threshold is lower than for bands and orchestras, since you don’t need and instrument. There’s usually beginner classes for adults, so all you need to bring is yourself and a good mood.
What I don’t get is, why is everyone struggling to make friends as an adult? There’s a loneliness epidemic. People are more isolated than ever and they’re feeling it and say they want to make friends. People online constantly say it is difficult to make friends. Yet when I meet people IRL, no one wants to make friends at all and the struggle is real. IRL no one responds to messages, no one comes to meet ups, no one accepts invitations. It seems the masses out there are not trying to make friends and are actively turning down opportunities…to then go home and be miserable and complain and be lonely. Is there an app or something? Tinder for friends? OnlyFriends.com could be the next thing in this tech dystopia…pay a monthly subscription to have another guy send buddy texts and memes. Relationships and parasocial relationships are comodified. Might as well do the same with friendship since people aren’t giving this shit away for free anymore.
I think a lot of people never knew how to make friends, not just as adults.
For some their entire social group is made of those that life forced them to meet - i.e classmates from their school days, childhood neighbors, and friends of those friends.
Tech companies made sure to divert social needs to parasocial relationships through a screen. People can watch a stream or stalk fake girls on social media and trick their brains into believing they have covered their social needs without having to put any energy on it. Now some people are starting to chat with AI as they were real people and it’s only to get worse.
When your needs are met, making friends is less difficult. When your life is focused on getting your needs get, making friends is often put on the back burner.
Making new friends is a commitment. People don’t have the energy for another commitment.
That’s trivial question: to become friends you must first talk to someone. More than once. To talk with someone more than once you must have some mutual interests or background limiting circumstances. It is easy to find friends in school, work, army, etc. In places with plenty of people who all are in the same situation and thus have some common (important!) themes and opinions to discuss with you. When you’re out of such places, you don’t have a chance of repeating talk with somebody. That’s it.
This is why I tell everyone they should join a choir or a dance class or whatever you fancy. The entry threshold is lower than for bands and orchestras, since you don’t need and instrument. There’s usually beginner classes for adults, so all you need to bring is yourself and a good mood.