tl;dr: Pre-colonoscopy bowel prep really took a lot outta me: crazy shit.
Hi Lemmy. I was gonna message my small friend group to wish me luck (aka retroactive positive causes) for my colonoscopy that’s happening in 45 minutes. But I realized I’m not really that close to them. I always end up oversharing and while that can build emotional intimacy in some friend groups, it unfortunately hasn’t with this group. And I dont have any other friends or family to speak of.
I’m kinda scared tbh. Not about the camera in my GI tract part, I’ll be on Milk of Amnesia for that part. It’s more because I got an abnormal result on my preliminary Cologard test, and while I know it has a high false positive rating I still can’t shake it. My background’s in healthcare so I knew enough to not postpone this merely because it’s unappealing. I always prefer knowledge over ignorance.
It’s just that so many people have passed away from gastrointestinal cancers: Chadwick Boseman, James van deer Beek, Audrey Hepburn, Pelé, Kirstie Alley, Charles M. Schulz, Milton Berle, Jack Lemmon, etc. The category of strangers I tend to interact with on Lemmy are the people I feel closest with in a way, which is simultaneously reassuring that I have that but also feels pathetic. Like I should be bullying myself.
Anywhoozles, I’ll at least be happy to end this 36 hour damn fast soon enough with natural and healthy air fried chicken tendies and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate & peanut butter ice cream. I’ll eat actually healthier (and something with fiber) after I smeep.
Apparently the rate at which I’ll have to repeat this (assuming good news) is dependent on whether the Doc had to burn polyps, etc while spelunking in there. It can ramge between 1-10 years depending how well it goes. Worst case scenario when GI cancers are caught early they’re among the easier to treat. I believe people even keep their hair so I can do that.
Life’s pretty crazy the older I get, and the longer I live the crazier I get. While I’m mostly content, I sometimes wish I could find someone as crazy as me to share my life with. Until then, I can find outlets in writing this brief diarrhy entries where if no one reads it it can always serve as a time capsule for old me. Hi me, it’s you: me. How’ve you been? I wish I’d appreciated the years better.
Love, qualia
Edit: Ollie ollie oxenfree: no Big C for me this time. They burned a few bad guys off and I have to do another one in three years. Thanks for all tbd strong empathy from this community. I literally posted that like ten ninutes before they wheeled me into the OR. Wish I could’ve read these before it went down. Thanks again.
HA
There’s no reason to be afraid of the result; it only changes your future actions, not your future state. The condition is either there already or it’s not, and the knowledge doesn’t change that fact. Take life as it comes and don’t borrow trouble.
I know that’s easier said than done for people who are prone to anxiety, but take it from someone who has busted one hand and one wrist in recent years; you can adjust to whatever comes, so don’t be afraid of it. Plan for what you know now, and save the rest of the planning for when you have more info. Don’t let it shake you and don’t let it eat your happiness.
You got this.