After years of wondering, going back and forth, and putting it off, I’ve finally got an appointment set up to get evaluated. I set the appointment about two weeks ago and it’s tomorrow, I even did all the paperwork already! Is there anything I should know, or consider going in?
Update: Well I got a diagnosis. I have ADHD, and he’s sending his recommendation med to my PCP. It’s weird that it has to go through them, right? I figured a therapist could prescribe meds. Also he added that I have “highly impulsive” ADHD. Is it normal to add the qualifier? I mean, he’s not wrong, but are there categories?
Also he added that I have “highly impulsive” ADHD. Is it normal to add the qualifier? I mean, he’s not wrong, but are there categories?
Sub categories are an area of active research. Afaik there are hints there might be some. The broadest sub-categories would be the hyperactive type, the inattentive type and the combined type.
But I wouldn’t overemphasize the categories. It’s a spectrum of symptoms. Which doesn’t mean a linear spectrum of severity but rather a bouquet of symptoms, that fit on the spectrum. If you picked enough of these, you have ADHD. Depending on which ones exactly you picked you could be classified in some category, but your own bouquet is an individual thing.
So I think it’s best to take a categorization as a guideline to learn in which areas you struggle most, which can be useful to target those in therapy/coaching. But don’t miss the other aspects of your individual bouquet over that broader categorization.
My wife described part of the test as:
Doc: do you struggle with {simple task}?
Pt: No, not at all because I have {overly complicated system} that makes {simple task} easy for me! {explains in great detail}
Doc: congratulations, you have ADHD
Good doc. Problem is that I overcompensate for things, so others perceive them as a strength.
For example, appointments. There are so many things in place to show up on time, and it involves panic, thresholds, time triggers etc.The “most relaxed” method is: Casually start to get ready early by putting required things in front of the door, so it would not open without taking them. Then, at a certain time, “panic mode” is triggered; at that point, I treat it like a building-on-fire kind of situation. But the thought that “panic mode” would still fix any slack in the preparation is what avoids panic for most of the process. Panic includes flashing images of ridiculous, unrealistic escalations and consequences of what could happen from being late.
What people see: He’s always on time.
Or to still get things done. I need a list of ridiculous granularity, like point 1: “create this list”. Check. Then use tricks, such as “just do ONE thing from the list now”, to bypass executive dysfunction.
P00ptart for every question that you want to answer “no, because <specialized system that took years to figure out>”, instead answer “yes, which is why I have to <specialised system that took years to figure out> just to manage”.
My version:
Doc: do you struggle with
<simple task> ?
Pt: No, not at all because I have
<overly complicated system> that makes
<simple task> easy for me!
<explains in great detail>
Doc: congratulations, you do not have ADHD, have you tried setting phone reminders?
Omg me too. How many times docs/counselors asked me if I’ve “ever” tried to make a to-do list. I could fill six appointments describing only which “to-do” systems I’ve tried/built just in 2026 (never mind the previous 2-3 decades).
everything inside the angle brackets is not displaying for me, just FYI
Me and my 4 nested to do list system both agree.
@P00ptart don’t mask.
Exactly this. I did mine a few months ago and was one point off being officially diagnosed. In the follow with the doctor (who luckily is a great guy and my GP who I’ve known for a few years now) it would seem my masking and steps I learned to mitigate the issue were the reason I didn’t make it.
For one example, out of many, I couldn’t say I routinely lose things like my keys - I talked openly about my natural tendancy to but because I had mitigated it, it was not impacting my life. My keys, walker etc, always go straight in a certain pot as soon as im home, my computer stuff goes into one place, which even though it’s a mess of a pile, means I can find them, my phone is always left pocket and keys/wallet right pocket, and before leaving anywhere I have learned to naturally tap them (by the way, the amount of times Ive shat myself because ive been on a call when leaving them tapped my now empty left pocket before realising is insane!).
Luckily, he is willing to try the medication regardless and said to retry the diagnosis in 6 months.
That will be tough. I’ve been doing it so long.
Maybe rehearse some of your difficulties/oddities. Being too fast to reply and omitting too much details cost me.
My advice is you’re not broken, or dysfunctional. Take the meds if they help you, and if they don’t, that’s also fine.
I took the meds and went to therapy. The meds helped but caused other undesirable side effects as well as anxiety. I tried all of them with same results. My therapy ended up focused on making me understand I’m not broken or worse than other people.
Now I’m off the meds and doing better than ever because I finally understood my forgetfulness and other adhd symptoms are only a problem to others. I’m a functional adult, remember the important things, make effort when I can and I’m allowed to make mistakes. Others need to adjust and understand more than I do.
I am not saying that I don’t care about others, or how my adhd affects them, because I do. I make so much effort to mask and to please, that it causes me pain and anxiety. I had to learn to be nicer with myself, to allow mistakes and see that others make mistakes too. Now that I have accepted that, the forgetfulness got better too, because my confidence is higher and my anxiety is almost gone.
Hope this helps
Make a list, especially if you can think of any “why do you do that” things that other people (or you) have said to you. Talk to the doc about the things you hate and love about yourself and others. Be honest, and realize that things that seem normal to you could all be symptoms you’ve just gotten used to. The older you are, the more likely it is.
Sometimes I stop eating something not because I’m satiated, but because I’m tired of chewing. I randomly mentioned that once and my doc said “That might be one of the most ADHD things I’ve heard.” Of course there’s a laundry list of other things.
Ha! I do that too! “It’s not good enough and I’m bored with this food.” Fuck, maybe I should’ve started a list a while ago.
Realizing now that you should’ve started then? Sounds like another thing to write down. Especially if you’ve been telling yourself you need to do it every couple of hours.
I’m really nervous about not getting a diagnosis, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle a setback. Like a lot of things in life “well I tried and failed, fuck it”.
Keep us updated!
I will, I don’t know how long it takes after the evaluation to be fully diagnosed and on meds or anything, but I’ll put up any information I get tomorrow.
For some reason I thought this was in the Dull Men’s Club community and had no idea what this was about
Lol it certainly could go there as well if I elaborated more.
