You will function without meda as you are functioning now without meds. It may feel like a bigger hurdle when you know things can be easier, but as long as you keep up your strategies for functioning you will not lose anything. You’ll only gain better days - even if they are not every day.
Plus grief is a lot easier to deal with when you have better emotional regulation, like with meds.
Nightmarish. Can you make the AI write up new documentation every time you want to push a change, so it looks like you’re using it frequently but you still get to write the code yourself?
I would love letting LLM deal with documentation. It’s the bane of my existence.
Since you say you can take the meds in secret, I assume she isn’t your medical or legal caretaker and isn’t required to administer your medications?
If you are your own guardian and can administer your own medication, there is no need to lie about it, nor wait for her to approve of it.
If she was with you last time you were on medication: Are her objections based on how you reacted to it then, like did you change in any way (stop listening, prioritised other things, become emotionally closed off or volatile)?
Are you diagnosis and will get a prescription from a doctor, or would this be self-medicating?
Does she have any other objections youbhavent listed here?
I really don’t think its a good idea to do these things in secret. The diagnosis is a part of you, either she can accept it or she doesn’t accept you.
Couples counseling for sure! (non-religious, they may be free, but they may also just feed into her rejection of pharmaceuticals - very difficultto know beforehand… find one who works with neuro-divergent people, and if that therapist doesn’t do couples they can refer you to someone who does)
Since it’s local, you can try to call or email them and ask them to play it less. Of course don’t be rude about it, only say that it’s too frequently played and you want more variety. Maybe it’ll make a few minutes of every day less annoying for you.