If only there were some kind of… I don’t know… ‘market’… where you could sell your unwanted ‘stock’ of oil to the highest bidder… at a reduced price, given the urgency.

MFW I buy futures and they become presents.

.

(I don’t actually trade I think it’s kinda gross)

this is why you don’t fuck around on the futures market

if you’ve ever had to drive a truckload of eggs to chicago, well, yeah.

if this is real and you’re having a bit of a panic, i can help you arrange a truck (but it will not be cheap, the truckers i work with are out of Fresno, CA). I’m not sure what you will do with the crude though. I would recommend finding a refinery to sell to.

Ebay?

Time for a last minute Burning Man.

drone strike

blame iran

Swimming pool?