So, my friend Steve insists that he is fine but always seems angry/talks in an annoyed or frustrated tone and it makes me sad. He doesn’t seem to care about anything and he says he cares about me but he’s so dry, usually depressed, and doesn’t wanna talk about it, insisting he’s fine and doesn’t talk to me at ALL. It’s really draining but I feel like a bad person. I wanna be there for him but I just feel like I’m bothering Steve.
I used to be like Steve. It took a lot of years until I looked back and realized my mindset probably made a lot of people feel like you do now. Didn’t start treatments or therapy until years into college. You can’t rush someone’s journey to improve, it goes at their pace. They’ll appreciate it if you take the time for yourself that you need, and welcome them into anywhere that you reasonably can. Even if they refuse every offer or sentiment, they’ll still know you were there for them, and it will matter.
You can only help someone that is willing to change or accept help. It sounds like he might not be there. That doesn’t mean stop being a friend, but you need to make sure you’re not negatively affecting your mental health by putting too much into someone that isn’t ready. Be there but don’t jeopardize yourself.
If you thought Steve was hungry, but he said he wasn’t, would you force food into his mouth?
You can only help someone who is willing to be helped. And you can’t let helping someone else bring you down.
Imagine one of your other friends wrote your post instead of you. What advice would you give them?
